Since perhaps immediately
after its initial release, Hollywood has seemed desperate to recreate
both the success (still elusive) and feel (slightly closer but still
no) of the 1974 revenge action movie Death Wish. And, while these
attempts have ranged from mere retreads (every Death Wish sequel) to
lazy remakes (the 2018 lazy remake), they've never quite been able to
find a match that fits the mold of a
normal-human-being-becoming-a-monster-because-revenge type of movie
mostly out of lack of skill or the aforementioned inherent laziness.
With a slightly new take on this subgenre with Peppermint...they
still don't seem to have any idea what they are doing here.
To be nice for a moment,
Peppermint, despite being a bland, uninspired movie, does, in fact,
have moments that made me hope for something more. The frenetic
cinematography of Riley's (Jennifer Garner) possible psychosis is at
times terrifying; at times jarring. And, while no one not named
Jennifer Garner actually comes away from this movie as little more
than a forgettable footnote in a series of footnote characters, Annie
Ilozeh as FBI Agent #1 and John Gallagher Jr. as Mustachioed Police
Officer were fun in their own fire-and-forget kind of acting that
almost made me care enough to want to learn their character's names.
Almost.
Unfortunately, this is
merely a poor man's Death Wish with all of the anger yet none of the
style. The violence is more a stoic examination of violence rather
than the fun kill-the-bad-guys-because-reasons type and, despite
trying very hard to be clever about its portrayal, never comes off as
anything more than overly preachy. This, mixed with the movie's
almost incessant urge to be nothing less than COMPLETELY SERIOUS
about everything (Revenge movies must have levity to be watchable)
causes the movie to feel both rushed and without any real urgency. We
know that Riley North is going to kill the bad guys and, most likely,
do terrible things to them in the process, but there's never a really
compelling reason to watch these acts of revenge play out because
they lack any flow outside of being extremely technical. When you
notice the camera work before the gunplay in an action movie, the
creative half of the production team wasn't doing their jobs.
As for watching it, The
Nun's out if you want a good pre-Halloween scare (or at least a
series of silly jumpscares instead) and Kin is still the same
underwhelming but fun outing it was last week so...pick your slightly
better poison this week? Honestly, you could get the same (but
cheaper) experience as Peppermint by giving yourself a minor
concussion and just watching Death Wish on mute. Otherwise, just
watch Alias again if you are that desperate to see Garner beat up bad
guys. That might be the first time I've ever recommended Alias as a
cure for anything...
Pierre Morel (Taken) tries
to recapture his former glory of taking aging actors and trying to
give them new leases as action stars and fails miserably with
Peppermint, a nonsensical, bland, poorly acted train wreck of a
revenge movie with all of the anger of Death Wish but none of the
skill to parlay that anger into anything watchable. After a Los
Angeles cartel murders her family, Riley North transforms from
suburban soccer mom to Mrs. Punisher via improbable plotting and even
more ridiculous character arcs. Outside of seeing Garner shoot bad
guys in the face, this movie is probably best left in the bargain
bin.
My score: 4/10. Goodbye,
Burt Reynolds. You said you lived your life for the money, for the
glory, and for the fun, but I like to think you did it mostly for the
fun.
