Peppermint: Revenge Gone Wrong

Since perhaps immediately after its initial release, Hollywood has seemed desperate to recreate both the success (still elusive) and feel (slightly closer but still no) of the 1974 revenge action movie Death Wish. And, while these attempts have ranged from mere retreads (every Death Wish sequel) to lazy remakes (the 2018 lazy remake), they've never quite been able to find a match that fits the mold of a normal-human-being-becoming-a-monster-because-revenge type of movie mostly out of lack of skill or the aforementioned inherent laziness. With a slightly new take on this subgenre with Peppermint...they still don't seem to have any idea what they are doing here.

To be nice for a moment, Peppermint, despite being a bland, uninspired movie, does, in fact, have moments that made me hope for something more. The frenetic cinematography of Riley's (Jennifer Garner) possible psychosis is at times terrifying; at times jarring. And, while no one not named Jennifer Garner actually comes away from this movie as little more than a forgettable footnote in a series of footnote characters, Annie Ilozeh as FBI Agent #1 and John Gallagher Jr. as Mustachioed Police Officer were fun in their own fire-and-forget kind of acting that almost made me care enough to want to learn their character's names. Almost.

Unfortunately, this is merely a poor man's Death Wish with all of the anger yet none of the style. The violence is more a stoic examination of violence rather than the fun kill-the-bad-guys-because-reasons type and, despite trying very hard to be clever about its portrayal, never comes off as anything more than overly preachy. This, mixed with the movie's almost incessant urge to be nothing less than COMPLETELY SERIOUS about everything (Revenge movies must have levity to be watchable) causes the movie to feel both rushed and without any real urgency. We know that Riley North is going to kill the bad guys and, most likely, do terrible things to them in the process, but there's never a really compelling reason to watch these acts of revenge play out because they lack any flow outside of being extremely technical. When you notice the camera work before the gunplay in an action movie, the creative half of the production team wasn't doing their jobs.

As for watching it, The Nun's out if you want a good pre-Halloween scare (or at least a series of silly jumpscares instead) and Kin is still the same underwhelming but fun outing it was last week so...pick your slightly better poison this week? Honestly, you could get the same (but cheaper) experience as Peppermint by giving yourself a minor concussion and just watching Death Wish on mute. Otherwise, just watch Alias again if you are that desperate to see Garner beat up bad guys. That might be the first time I've ever recommended Alias as a cure for anything...

Pierre Morel (Taken) tries to recapture his former glory of taking aging actors and trying to give them new leases as action stars and fails miserably with Peppermint, a nonsensical, bland, poorly acted train wreck of a revenge movie with all of the anger of Death Wish but none of the skill to parlay that anger into anything watchable. After a Los Angeles cartel murders her family, Riley North transforms from suburban soccer mom to Mrs. Punisher via improbable plotting and even more ridiculous character arcs. Outside of seeing Garner shoot bad guys in the face, this movie is probably best left in the bargain bin.

My score: 4/10. Goodbye, Burt Reynolds. You said you lived your life for the money, for the glory, and for the fun, but I like to think you did it mostly for the fun.

Kin: When Brothers Help Each Other in a War Zone

Some movies, it would seem, are not really meant to draw an audience regardless of their merits. Despite being somehow snuck into theaters and occasionally boasting a surprisingly stellar cast, these types of movies tend to range from forgettably fun (Monster Trucks) to trying-too-hard wastes of time (The November Man) and, unfortunately for said movies, this tends to lead not only to lackluster returns from audiences (both of the aforementioned movies failed miserably at the box office) but even prevents the opportunity for cult-status due to lack of any clearly redeemable aspect (only Monster Trucks has had any kind of limited fandom since its release). Now, with The Baker Brothers' first attempt at feature length science fiction with Kin...maybe these young directors should take some courses in advertising.

To be nice, Kin is a fun, if flawed movie with enough humanity to bear its heart and enough flair to keep you interested for its nearly-bearable run time. Myles Truitt is fun as the young lead Eli, Jack Reynor and Zoe Kravitz acquit themselves nicely as surrogate parents of the moment to the kind of wayward youth, its message about how good is always the hardest choice borders on charming and, yes, the actual effects centered around the weird space gun Eli finds is both cool and intelligently implemented for the best audience-pleasing effect possible at this kind of price range. Throw in yet another creepily sleazy turn by James Franco and heartfelt blink-and-you'll-miss-it performance by Dennis Quad and you even have some better named actors giving it their all despite not really needing to considering this movies prospects. It was a movie meant to fail and those involved tried their hardest anyway. That would be inspiring if it weren't so depressing.

Unfortunately, while the human aspect of the movie aims for the stars and comes just short, the actual twist to the movie is both forgettable and poorly implemented. Sure, its always fun to watch Eli blow holes in walls with an alien ray gun, but the actual reasoning for it existing where he found it to begin with feels cheap and forced. And, while its easy to get behind Franco's angry gangster working through his losses with really bad behavior and Quad's stoic father figure trying desperately to protect his youngest son from falling in with the bad side of the world, the rest of the bigger-named cast feels tacked on and forgettable. Seriously, how do you manage to snag Carrie Coon and Michael B. Jordan for the equivalent of five minute cameos and have them feel so blasé?

As for watching it, wait this one out for a few months. Television is where this movie should have begun and is likely where it will (hopefully) find an appreciative audience. Still reeling from an absolutely dead August and wishing September would just get better faster? Well...Peppermint comes out next week and it seems pretty cool? Patiences is a virtue?

Jonathan and Josh Baker graduate from short sci-fi with what would be expected with Kin, an at-times brilliant movie about family with an alien ray gun thrown into the mix that never really gets beyond that due to budgetary constraints and obvious first film jitters. While attempting to scavenge abandoned buildings in Detroit for copper wires, wayward teen Eli (Truitt) stumbles upon a group of dead alien-or-future soldiers and promptly steals one of their weapons, setting off an extended chase sequence across half the country involving a violent street gang after his older ex-con brother Jimmy (Reynor), a stripper from Nebraska named Milly (Kravitz) and lots and lots of wonky sci-fi explosions that culminate in epic-for-its-budget shootout and a lackluster ending you wish you saw coming an hour earlier. I've had worse times with no-budget sci-fi.

My score: 6/10. Is it weird that the dialog in this script seemed to be aiming for an R-rating but, when it came time for violence, stuck strictly to the PG-13 angle? It often confuses me when a movie with this much swearing acts scared to show any blood. 

Ant-Man and The Wasp: Marvel at the Weird

It's easy to accuse Marvel, especially these days, of resting on their laurels and being afraid of taking any adverse chances. Sure, they've talked a lot of actually going through with a Squirrel Girl movie and their recent attempts at introducing “different” characters via television (Legion, The Runaways) have been mostly successful, but, from a strictly corporate angle, it's still very clear they'd rather you watched Black Panther (a soulless, unoriginal action movie) or Infinity Wars (a franchise-friendly cop out). While I won't say that all of their obviously audience-friendly characters aren't worth watching, its often sad that, for all the thousands of characters that exist in the Marvel Universe to begin with, we as an audience will never see most of them due to their more R-rated credentials (Deadpool needed Fox to exist) or mostly obscure relevence to modern times (Cloak & Dagger are pretty much just murderous vigilantes). This is why, when Ant-Man rears his tiny head, I tend to be perfectly happy to jump on that bandwagon with gusto.

Yes, consumers of the Weird World of Marvel, Ant-Man and The Wasp is awesome. Paul Rudd is still the perfect Scott Lang, Michael Douglass is still fun as the aging and still curmudgenly Hank Pym, the perspective humor from the original is still spot-on with the premise, the action is fun and the minimalist approach, especially considering the world-in-peril schtick of more recent Marvel output, is an entertaining diversion from all the excess fat this franchise has begun to accumulate. Throw in yet another near perfect turn by Michael Pena as the fast-talking, gibbering human foil to the more serious, beat-the-bad-guy-and-look-awesome-doing-it mentality of the actual hero side of the equation and you have something just as unexpected as the first Ant-Man: human characters getting in way over their heads and succeeding through sheer force of will and a keen eye on the ridiculousness of the whole situation (tiny heroes with big problems).

Sadly, while the original cast is fun and, for the now third movie in a row, there's yet another interesting and compelling villain in Ghost (Hannah Joh-Kamen), Randall Park's Agent Woo is forced to take all the flak as arguably the worst new character in a Marvel movie in recent memory. Mostly relegated to awkward plot dumps and even more awkwardly written lines that probably sounded funny in the script writer's head, Woo exists as a dork who is trying to be more and, through poorly written characterization and over reliance on Park's underused charisma and natural talent at humor, falls flat and turns into little more than a punchline that isn't funny no matter what angle you look at it. You had me the juice box gag, Marvel! You didn't have to overplay your hand with too many characters.

As for watching it, why aren't you already at the theater as of this writing? Not only is it a Marvel movie for the enabling of your inner nerd, but you have something small (no pun intended) and compact enough not to get too wrapped into all the other big stuff happening everywhere else in the world. Are you tired of Disney and their seemingly infinite control over what you consume in theaters? This is going to be more of the same, but at least you don't have to worry about Thanos popping in an screwing it all up.

Peyton Reed (Bring It On) proves that making cheerleading movies really was a fluke with Ant-Man and The Wasp, a gonzo action comedy that is literally about rooting for the little guy. Nearing the end of his house arrest over the events of Civil War, Scott (Rudd) is pulled back into superhero stuff when Hank (Douglass) and Hope (Evangeline Lilly) recruit him in an attempt to find Janet Van Dyne (Michelle Pfeifer), the original Wasp who was trapped in the quantum realm after going subatomic decades before the events of the first Iron Man. Tiny things will be enlarged for comic results, Luis (Pena) will show off just how much more he talks under a truth serum, most of the humor will be spot-on size comparisons and you'll kind of find yourself rooting for Ghost (John-Kamen) when you realize just what she's kind of going through. They fight bad guys and you don't know who to root for because you like both sides. How bipolar is that?

My score: 7/10.

Incredibles 2: No Capes; All Charm

With the continuing-to-grow deluge of superhero movies (Infinity War, Deadpool 2, Antman and Wasp), it is easy to suffer from the so-called “superhero fatigue” that has slowly begun to plague not only the DCEU of late (Justice League) or even the recently problematic Marvel (Black Panther). Sorry, fanboys, its just a fact: if you watch enough of them, they tend to run together and, regardless of your affinity for the genre, nothing, not even Marvel, can stay fresh forever. Consider Incredibles 2 to be a heartfelt, yet seemingly knowing, wink at this slowly downward-spiraling trend that tells it in a way that only Pixar can.

Okay, look, if you like Pixar movies and you like superhero movies, chances are you'll probably love The Incredibles 2. The characters are still charming, the jokes are still funny, Bob Odenkirk plays sleazy but still honorable in ways only he could have envisioned, the action is still fun and, if you loved Jack Jack the first time around, you'll likely find nothing wrong with him 14 years later in this iteration. Throw in yet another amazing villain (i.e. a villain who's ideology would make him a hero if it hadn't been twisted with murderous intent) and you even have a character depth that Marvel Studios still struggles and fails to pull off in their endless loop of bland heroes and their problems. See? The movie not only is a fun distraction with redeemable merits but it even mocks its big brother franchise mercilessly for its creative flaws. That's meta to the point of mean spirited!

Unfortunately, much like the superhero movies before it (at least the ones in the category of “Not Made By Pixar”), this is still a one team show and, as a result, no one outside of the original players from Incredibles 1 really make anything more than a passing impression. Sophia Bush is completely wasted as the nerve wracked superhero Voyd, up to 70% of the heroes without the last name of Parr (that's the super family) won't even have a line of dialog, no normal, human character outside of Odenkirk's Winston Deavor have anything interesting to say or do and, even though I mentioned that awesome villain previously, he also kind of feels like a slightly more vindictive version of Syndrome (Jason Lee) from the last movie. Its a movie that mocks the tropes of its genre before accidentally falling into them as well.

As for watching it, sure, go for it. Its still a Pixar movie at its very essense and, while it lacks anything resembling a quintessential “Pixar Moment” (i.e. trying hard not to ugly cry before bursting into uncontrollable laughter), its still a cute, if sometimes underwhelming, superhero/family movie with the proper respect paid to the family side of that equation. Do you avoid Pixar movies because you think they are just meant to keep small, screaming children quiet for a few hours? Good luck trying to defend your decision to watch anything else in theaters this weekend.

Brad Bird (Iron Giant) continues to prove that he can't make a bad animated, sci-fi movie with The Incredibles 2, a kid-friendly version of what the Fantastic Four would be if they had competent people working on that franchise. Picking up immediately following Part 1, Bob (Craig T. Nelson) and Helen (Holly Hunter) Parr are recruited by Walt Disneyesque media mogul Winston Deavor (Odenkirk) for the purpose of rectifying what he believes is the biggest wrong from the first movie: being a superhero is still illegal. To fix this problem, Helen will return to her persona as Elasti-Girl and, with the help of Deavor's media connections, try to reaffirm public trust in superheroes again and...are you still awake? That's too many words! How about this? Its got Jack Jack the infant in it. And he is AWESOME. Now, go watch the movie already!

My score: 8/10. Is it weird that, after this movie, I kind of miss Syndrome? Despite his kind of evil plan in the first movie, he was still just trying to sell everyone rocket boots and be a supervillain version of Ayn Rand (“When everyone is super, no one will be.”).

Ocean's 8: Same as 11, but Meaner

Ocean's Eleven was a movie that, despite massive pushback from Hollywood (because it was a remake of a Frank Sinatra movie) and being overwhelmingly top heavy (Brad Pitt, George Clooney, Matt Damon) managed to find success by using the rare filmmaking formula of being smart yet being fully aware of its own limitations. Regardless of how much you liked the titular thiefs, you were always aware that they were bad guys who were the heroes by the virtue of ripping off a much worse guy. Everything beyond that single plot point was just bonus footage. How do you expand on this winning (or 33% winning) formula? Switch the genders, limit the scope and let the actresses shine their own winning personalities for a change. Is it okay to say the movie works until it just doesn't?

Okay, look, Ocean's 8, if you're in the mood for a fun little heist movie with arguably some of the best female talent in Hollywood (Cate Blanchett, Sarah Paulson), some of better ticket drawing females in Hollywood (Sandra Bullock) or Rihanna, chances are this movie will provide the entertainment value you're looking for. The heist itself is fun to watch unfold, the characters are mostly charming and have enough on-screen charisma to keep you invested and, even if you're a cynic like me, you can still just mock Helena Bonham Carter's terrible Scottish accent if the movie starts to totally lose you in the third act. It was a 110 minute movie that, while it did occasionally lose me, it never really bored me.

Unfortunately, 8 ultimately fails where Eleven had its most expert touch: there's just no Tony Benedict (Andy Garcia) this time. The thing to remember about Eleven was that the gang was doing the heist to stick it sideways to an arrogant, yet intelligent, billionaire with the resources and dedication to be a compelling villain worth rooting against. The mark in 8 is merely some dude who made the mistake of burning Debbie Ocean (Bullock) years before and, as of the movie, had promptly forgotten about her. He didn't stand to lose millions in the heist or suffer any security embarrassment as a result. He was just some schmuck with no personal investment in the plot who was targeted for something he seemed to barely remember. This ultimately turns the crew this time around into the bad guys by the end when you realize they aren't avenging a past wrong so much as spiting the moron for the sake of closure. You had the money, ladies, you didn't have to kick the side character in the face on your way out the door.

As for watching it, go for it. Despite being a movie that, for all intents and purposes, doesn't really need to bear the Ocean's moniker (it would have been a fine heist movie even without the series connection), its still a fun time with some great comic timing and a reasonably paced use of your time for once. The jokes are funny without trying to bury themselves (Hi, Ghostbusters!), the characters are as fun as they are unpredictable and, despite seeming to be intent on one-upping the original, the plot never tries to overwhelm it audience. You kept it simple! Good job!

Gary Ross (Hunger Games) goes for methodical over emotional with Ocean's 8, a fun, sometimes overcomplicated, heist comedy about women scorned and the extents they'll go to burn the hapless target of their ire. Fresh out of prison and ready to steal again, Debbie Ocean (Bullock) sets her sights on a $150 million necklace at the Met Gala. With the help of some interesting and talent characters and Rihanna, the group will attempt to pull off a job in one of the the most heavily-policed museums in the world. Go have fun and then try to stay awake when the movie goes to long and drags James Corden into the movie in the third act. Maybe they thought the movie was getting too good...

My score 7/10. The movie was cheap and can easily make its money back with even a limited release schedule between summer tentpole movies. I smell a potential franchise (it reeks superheroes and space operas).

Deadpool 2: The Clown Gets Serious

 Deadpool 2, despite the obvious problems common with sequels, is, at some points, superior to its original. While its still largely a comedy that openly riffs on the superhero genre while blatantly copying the formula, it also seeks to do something even the best reviewed superhero movies still try openly and fail spectacularly to do: give the character a heart. Yes, there's still more comedy here than seems necessary and the titular character still fires his mouth off faster than any gun he can find, but, now with seemingly actual stakes, it feels like the franchise has finally grown beyond just being a sophomoric comedy and fallen into a unique niche of being a sophomoric comedy with the early makings of a soul. Also, there's a Hugh Jackman cameo (because we all know what's REALLY important here).

Yes, readers, Deadpool 2, much like its predecessor but so much more, is awesome. Ryan Reynolds continues to be an odd mixture of both the perfect embodiment of the character and very nearly a real-world version of the character, Josh Brolin comes through beautifully as the first interesting version of Cable ever, Zazie Beetz's Domino proves to be both a serious foil and and equally fun-to-watch character to Deadpool's mile-a-minute dialog and, after a first movie that didn't really try explore what comic book Deadpool truly is (mainly due to budget constraints), genuine effort is finally put into exactly why this indestructible psychopath truly is the way he is in the comics. Throw in a surprisingly accurate new character in the second act with his own theme song (which I now want as a ringtone) and a heartfelt third act to tie everything together and you finally have a Marvel movie that Disney keeps going for but never quite nails: a true rendition of a comic book character that can seemingly sustain a franchise.

As for bad, what little there is, those coming to the theater hoping to see the likes of Colossus and Negasonic Teenage Warhead (Brianna Hildebrand) in all their prequel glory will find them pushed to the side for an oddball riff on the team-up formula that doesn't actually go anywhere (which kind of makes that sequence funnier). Say what you will about the first movie, it had loveable characters that are sadly underutilized here due either to real world issues in the filmmaking (T.J. Miller's legal woes) or just plot necessity (Blind Al is more of a therapist this round).

As for watching it, did you see the first movie? If so, this is more of the same with a hint of better things that could come. Did you avoid the original Deadpool due to disagreements with the hit-or-miss humor or the R-rated stigma that most superhero movies avoid? Chances are you won't be convinced by this effort either. If its the latter, good luck with the rest of the movies out this week.

David Leitch (Atomic Blonde) continues to take unique dramatic liberties for the sake of great action scenes with Deadpool 2, the followup that should have been the first movie if Fox had had the guts to fund the first movie properly. Following a personal tragedy resulting from a failed assassination, Wade Wilson (Reynolds) seeks some form of meaning in his life by attempting to save young mutant Russell (Julian Dennison) from time-traveling killer Cable (Brolin). Stuff will explode more spectacularly than the first movie, Deadpool will make rapid fire references not only to the success of the first movie but to the annoying tropes of every superhero movie currently in existence, a team will be built of some of the most obscure Marvel characters for the sake of a one-shot joke and the post-credit scenes will prove to be both fulfilling (he cleans the timeline) and one big practical joke (it openly mocks you for expecting more). Go for the fun action and the rapid fire dialog; stay for the unexpectedly heartfelt payoff.

My score: 9/10. Remember the line from Deadpool 1 about the cure for blindness? Yeah. They somehow pay that one off and still make it funny.

Rampage: Formulaic Monster Mash

There's a lot to be said about Dwayne Johnson as an actor. Sure, he started out with arguably the worst rep in the world (former professional wrestler), mostly stuck to garbage roles in his early career (Scorpion King, Doom) occasionally sprinkled with bouts of brilliant action movies (The Rundown) but, through perseverance and kind of shameless ability to not be picky about his roles (The Game Plan, Tooth Fairy), the man has managed to excel at his craft as both a great voice actor (Moana) and a actor who is far too talented to be doing the movies he's actually in (San Andreas). Now, with yet another Rock-flavored action movie in Rampage, he's finally getting to the point where he needs to ask the age-old question all legitimately great actors eventually have to ask: maybe I should find GOOD movies to star in for a change.

Okay, look, if you like action movies and you also happen to like Johnson's The Rock persona from his WWE days, chances are Rampage will entertain you and you will find this money well spent. Johnson still possesses some of the strongest on-screen charisma of any actor currently working today, he's backed up by an equally charismatic, if under utilized, Jeffrey Dean Morgan, the simplistic plot is complimented by enough “Ooh, look at that!” moments that you'll likely forget about most of the human characters anyway, and, come on, if you came to this movie for any other reason than to see a bunch of giant animal hybrids fight each other to the death, you're probably in the wrong movie theater to begin with. This is a movie meant for an audience who knows exactly what they are paying for before they even see the theater in the distance. Big, dumb fun with the occasional plot dump followed by more big, dumb fun, while not necessarily the makings of a great movie, is still a pretty solid way to sell tickets.

Unfortunately, if you're hoping for Godzilla-style action without the Bryan Cranston widower-with-a-chip-on-his-shoulder or Pacific Rim-style punch-the-giant-Cthulu-monster-in-the-face-with-your-robotic-rocket-arm kind of action, you'll likely leave disappointed. Johnson's Davis Okoye, despite being easily the most interesting human character, largely remains a blank slate outside of the whole hating humanity for hatred's sake and despite their very worthy efforts, neither Naomie Harris nor Malin Akerman come off as anything more than attractive mouthpieces for the next pointless plot dump that is the overly cheesy dialogue and melodramatic script. Seriously, Hollywood, get Johnson a good director for a change!

As for watching it, did you like San Andreas despite its near-fatal flaws of being both dour in tone and wordy in exposition? Chances are you'll find much to love here and, even if you won't get to see what we all truly want to see (The Rock punch a giant monster in the face), you'll likely get a close facsimile of it (The Rock shoots giant monsters in the face with EXPLOSIVES). Bored with these kind of movies and totally aware that this summer will be full of this kind of thing? Feel free to look up Isle of Dogs or A Quiet Place for your entertainment fix this week.

Brad Peyton (San Andreas) continues to get work in action movies courtesy of his buddy Dwayne Johnson despite not really having anything resembling a feel for it with Rampage, a sometimes entertaining, mostly too dramatic take on giant monsters and how people fight them. When his gorilla charge George is infected with a genetic engineering hormone and grows to the size of a van (then a school bus, then a yacht and so on), Primotologist Davis Okoye (Johnson) seeks both answers to why his friend is currently rampaging across the United States and revenge on the people responsible. Basically a lot of heavy-handed dialogue followed by Johnson punching out his problems (and occasionally blowing stuff up). If you're after giant explosions and creature fights, you can't really go wrong here.

My score: 4/10. Goodbye, Milos Forman. Sure, you are guilty of directing Hair, but I'll never think of a man tearing a water fountain off its hinges and throwing it out a window after smothering his best friend without thinking of you (One Flew Over The Cuckoos Nest).