Incredibles 2: No Capes; All Charm

With the continuing-to-grow deluge of superhero movies (Infinity War, Deadpool 2, Antman and Wasp), it is easy to suffer from the so-called “superhero fatigue” that has slowly begun to plague not only the DCEU of late (Justice League) or even the recently problematic Marvel (Black Panther). Sorry, fanboys, its just a fact: if you watch enough of them, they tend to run together and, regardless of your affinity for the genre, nothing, not even Marvel, can stay fresh forever. Consider Incredibles 2 to be a heartfelt, yet seemingly knowing, wink at this slowly downward-spiraling trend that tells it in a way that only Pixar can.

Okay, look, if you like Pixar movies and you like superhero movies, chances are you'll probably love The Incredibles 2. The characters are still charming, the jokes are still funny, Bob Odenkirk plays sleazy but still honorable in ways only he could have envisioned, the action is still fun and, if you loved Jack Jack the first time around, you'll likely find nothing wrong with him 14 years later in this iteration. Throw in yet another amazing villain (i.e. a villain who's ideology would make him a hero if it hadn't been twisted with murderous intent) and you even have a character depth that Marvel Studios still struggles and fails to pull off in their endless loop of bland heroes and their problems. See? The movie not only is a fun distraction with redeemable merits but it even mocks its big brother franchise mercilessly for its creative flaws. That's meta to the point of mean spirited!

Unfortunately, much like the superhero movies before it (at least the ones in the category of “Not Made By Pixar”), this is still a one team show and, as a result, no one outside of the original players from Incredibles 1 really make anything more than a passing impression. Sophia Bush is completely wasted as the nerve wracked superhero Voyd, up to 70% of the heroes without the last name of Parr (that's the super family) won't even have a line of dialog, no normal, human character outside of Odenkirk's Winston Deavor have anything interesting to say or do and, even though I mentioned that awesome villain previously, he also kind of feels like a slightly more vindictive version of Syndrome (Jason Lee) from the last movie. Its a movie that mocks the tropes of its genre before accidentally falling into them as well.

As for watching it, sure, go for it. Its still a Pixar movie at its very essense and, while it lacks anything resembling a quintessential “Pixar Moment” (i.e. trying hard not to ugly cry before bursting into uncontrollable laughter), its still a cute, if sometimes underwhelming, superhero/family movie with the proper respect paid to the family side of that equation. Do you avoid Pixar movies because you think they are just meant to keep small, screaming children quiet for a few hours? Good luck trying to defend your decision to watch anything else in theaters this weekend.

Brad Bird (Iron Giant) continues to prove that he can't make a bad animated, sci-fi movie with The Incredibles 2, a kid-friendly version of what the Fantastic Four would be if they had competent people working on that franchise. Picking up immediately following Part 1, Bob (Craig T. Nelson) and Helen (Holly Hunter) Parr are recruited by Walt Disneyesque media mogul Winston Deavor (Odenkirk) for the purpose of rectifying what he believes is the biggest wrong from the first movie: being a superhero is still illegal. To fix this problem, Helen will return to her persona as Elasti-Girl and, with the help of Deavor's media connections, try to reaffirm public trust in superheroes again and...are you still awake? That's too many words! How about this? Its got Jack Jack the infant in it. And he is AWESOME. Now, go watch the movie already!

My score: 8/10. Is it weird that, after this movie, I kind of miss Syndrome? Despite his kind of evil plan in the first movie, he was still just trying to sell everyone rocket boots and be a supervillain version of Ayn Rand (“When everyone is super, no one will be.”).

Ocean's 8: Same as 11, but Meaner

Ocean's Eleven was a movie that, despite massive pushback from Hollywood (because it was a remake of a Frank Sinatra movie) and being overwhelmingly top heavy (Brad Pitt, George Clooney, Matt Damon) managed to find success by using the rare filmmaking formula of being smart yet being fully aware of its own limitations. Regardless of how much you liked the titular thiefs, you were always aware that they were bad guys who were the heroes by the virtue of ripping off a much worse guy. Everything beyond that single plot point was just bonus footage. How do you expand on this winning (or 33% winning) formula? Switch the genders, limit the scope and let the actresses shine their own winning personalities for a change. Is it okay to say the movie works until it just doesn't?

Okay, look, Ocean's 8, if you're in the mood for a fun little heist movie with arguably some of the best female talent in Hollywood (Cate Blanchett, Sarah Paulson), some of better ticket drawing females in Hollywood (Sandra Bullock) or Rihanna, chances are this movie will provide the entertainment value you're looking for. The heist itself is fun to watch unfold, the characters are mostly charming and have enough on-screen charisma to keep you invested and, even if you're a cynic like me, you can still just mock Helena Bonham Carter's terrible Scottish accent if the movie starts to totally lose you in the third act. It was a 110 minute movie that, while it did occasionally lose me, it never really bored me.

Unfortunately, 8 ultimately fails where Eleven had its most expert touch: there's just no Tony Benedict (Andy Garcia) this time. The thing to remember about Eleven was that the gang was doing the heist to stick it sideways to an arrogant, yet intelligent, billionaire with the resources and dedication to be a compelling villain worth rooting against. The mark in 8 is merely some dude who made the mistake of burning Debbie Ocean (Bullock) years before and, as of the movie, had promptly forgotten about her. He didn't stand to lose millions in the heist or suffer any security embarrassment as a result. He was just some schmuck with no personal investment in the plot who was targeted for something he seemed to barely remember. This ultimately turns the crew this time around into the bad guys by the end when you realize they aren't avenging a past wrong so much as spiting the moron for the sake of closure. You had the money, ladies, you didn't have to kick the side character in the face on your way out the door.

As for watching it, go for it. Despite being a movie that, for all intents and purposes, doesn't really need to bear the Ocean's moniker (it would have been a fine heist movie even without the series connection), its still a fun time with some great comic timing and a reasonably paced use of your time for once. The jokes are funny without trying to bury themselves (Hi, Ghostbusters!), the characters are as fun as they are unpredictable and, despite seeming to be intent on one-upping the original, the plot never tries to overwhelm it audience. You kept it simple! Good job!

Gary Ross (Hunger Games) goes for methodical over emotional with Ocean's 8, a fun, sometimes overcomplicated, heist comedy about women scorned and the extents they'll go to burn the hapless target of their ire. Fresh out of prison and ready to steal again, Debbie Ocean (Bullock) sets her sights on a $150 million necklace at the Met Gala. With the help of some interesting and talent characters and Rihanna, the group will attempt to pull off a job in one of the the most heavily-policed museums in the world. Go have fun and then try to stay awake when the movie goes to long and drags James Corden into the movie in the third act. Maybe they thought the movie was getting too good...

My score 7/10. The movie was cheap and can easily make its money back with even a limited release schedule between summer tentpole movies. I smell a potential franchise (it reeks superheroes and space operas).

Deadpool 2: The Clown Gets Serious

 Deadpool 2, despite the obvious problems common with sequels, is, at some points, superior to its original. While its still largely a comedy that openly riffs on the superhero genre while blatantly copying the formula, it also seeks to do something even the best reviewed superhero movies still try openly and fail spectacularly to do: give the character a heart. Yes, there's still more comedy here than seems necessary and the titular character still fires his mouth off faster than any gun he can find, but, now with seemingly actual stakes, it feels like the franchise has finally grown beyond just being a sophomoric comedy and fallen into a unique niche of being a sophomoric comedy with the early makings of a soul. Also, there's a Hugh Jackman cameo (because we all know what's REALLY important here).

Yes, readers, Deadpool 2, much like its predecessor but so much more, is awesome. Ryan Reynolds continues to be an odd mixture of both the perfect embodiment of the character and very nearly a real-world version of the character, Josh Brolin comes through beautifully as the first interesting version of Cable ever, Zazie Beetz's Domino proves to be both a serious foil and and equally fun-to-watch character to Deadpool's mile-a-minute dialog and, after a first movie that didn't really try explore what comic book Deadpool truly is (mainly due to budget constraints), genuine effort is finally put into exactly why this indestructible psychopath truly is the way he is in the comics. Throw in a surprisingly accurate new character in the second act with his own theme song (which I now want as a ringtone) and a heartfelt third act to tie everything together and you finally have a Marvel movie that Disney keeps going for but never quite nails: a true rendition of a comic book character that can seemingly sustain a franchise.

As for bad, what little there is, those coming to the theater hoping to see the likes of Colossus and Negasonic Teenage Warhead (Brianna Hildebrand) in all their prequel glory will find them pushed to the side for an oddball riff on the team-up formula that doesn't actually go anywhere (which kind of makes that sequence funnier). Say what you will about the first movie, it had loveable characters that are sadly underutilized here due either to real world issues in the filmmaking (T.J. Miller's legal woes) or just plot necessity (Blind Al is more of a therapist this round).

As for watching it, did you see the first movie? If so, this is more of the same with a hint of better things that could come. Did you avoid the original Deadpool due to disagreements with the hit-or-miss humor or the R-rated stigma that most superhero movies avoid? Chances are you won't be convinced by this effort either. If its the latter, good luck with the rest of the movies out this week.

David Leitch (Atomic Blonde) continues to take unique dramatic liberties for the sake of great action scenes with Deadpool 2, the followup that should have been the first movie if Fox had had the guts to fund the first movie properly. Following a personal tragedy resulting from a failed assassination, Wade Wilson (Reynolds) seeks some form of meaning in his life by attempting to save young mutant Russell (Julian Dennison) from time-traveling killer Cable (Brolin). Stuff will explode more spectacularly than the first movie, Deadpool will make rapid fire references not only to the success of the first movie but to the annoying tropes of every superhero movie currently in existence, a team will be built of some of the most obscure Marvel characters for the sake of a one-shot joke and the post-credit scenes will prove to be both fulfilling (he cleans the timeline) and one big practical joke (it openly mocks you for expecting more). Go for the fun action and the rapid fire dialog; stay for the unexpectedly heartfelt payoff.

My score: 9/10. Remember the line from Deadpool 1 about the cure for blindness? Yeah. They somehow pay that one off and still make it funny.

Rampage: Formulaic Monster Mash

There's a lot to be said about Dwayne Johnson as an actor. Sure, he started out with arguably the worst rep in the world (former professional wrestler), mostly stuck to garbage roles in his early career (Scorpion King, Doom) occasionally sprinkled with bouts of brilliant action movies (The Rundown) but, through perseverance and kind of shameless ability to not be picky about his roles (The Game Plan, Tooth Fairy), the man has managed to excel at his craft as both a great voice actor (Moana) and a actor who is far too talented to be doing the movies he's actually in (San Andreas). Now, with yet another Rock-flavored action movie in Rampage, he's finally getting to the point where he needs to ask the age-old question all legitimately great actors eventually have to ask: maybe I should find GOOD movies to star in for a change.

Okay, look, if you like action movies and you also happen to like Johnson's The Rock persona from his WWE days, chances are Rampage will entertain you and you will find this money well spent. Johnson still possesses some of the strongest on-screen charisma of any actor currently working today, he's backed up by an equally charismatic, if under utilized, Jeffrey Dean Morgan, the simplistic plot is complimented by enough “Ooh, look at that!” moments that you'll likely forget about most of the human characters anyway, and, come on, if you came to this movie for any other reason than to see a bunch of giant animal hybrids fight each other to the death, you're probably in the wrong movie theater to begin with. This is a movie meant for an audience who knows exactly what they are paying for before they even see the theater in the distance. Big, dumb fun with the occasional plot dump followed by more big, dumb fun, while not necessarily the makings of a great movie, is still a pretty solid way to sell tickets.

Unfortunately, if you're hoping for Godzilla-style action without the Bryan Cranston widower-with-a-chip-on-his-shoulder or Pacific Rim-style punch-the-giant-Cthulu-monster-in-the-face-with-your-robotic-rocket-arm kind of action, you'll likely leave disappointed. Johnson's Davis Okoye, despite being easily the most interesting human character, largely remains a blank slate outside of the whole hating humanity for hatred's sake and despite their very worthy efforts, neither Naomie Harris nor Malin Akerman come off as anything more than attractive mouthpieces for the next pointless plot dump that is the overly cheesy dialogue and melodramatic script. Seriously, Hollywood, get Johnson a good director for a change!

As for watching it, did you like San Andreas despite its near-fatal flaws of being both dour in tone and wordy in exposition? Chances are you'll find much to love here and, even if you won't get to see what we all truly want to see (The Rock punch a giant monster in the face), you'll likely get a close facsimile of it (The Rock shoots giant monsters in the face with EXPLOSIVES). Bored with these kind of movies and totally aware that this summer will be full of this kind of thing? Feel free to look up Isle of Dogs or A Quiet Place for your entertainment fix this week.

Brad Peyton (San Andreas) continues to get work in action movies courtesy of his buddy Dwayne Johnson despite not really having anything resembling a feel for it with Rampage, a sometimes entertaining, mostly too dramatic take on giant monsters and how people fight them. When his gorilla charge George is infected with a genetic engineering hormone and grows to the size of a van (then a school bus, then a yacht and so on), Primotologist Davis Okoye (Johnson) seeks both answers to why his friend is currently rampaging across the United States and revenge on the people responsible. Basically a lot of heavy-handed dialogue followed by Johnson punching out his problems (and occasionally blowing stuff up). If you're after giant explosions and creature fights, you can't really go wrong here.

My score: 4/10. Goodbye, Milos Forman. Sure, you are guilty of directing Hair, but I'll never think of a man tearing a water fountain off its hinges and throwing it out a window after smothering his best friend without thinking of you (One Flew Over The Cuckoos Nest).

A Quiet Place: Deafening Dread

If my review of Hush is any indication, I love movies that know how to get sound (or lack thereof) right. When this is done properly, particularly in the thriller/horror genre, it lends itself to a sense of dread far and beyond what any typical slasher movie can offer. When this sound perfects silence, however, we the audience become just as much a victim as those we root for to survive. It instills in its audience both a sense of foreboding (knowing that something bad will happen) tempered only by the false flags and red herrings that come with the territory (we all jump at innocuous sounds that are harmless in anticipation of the truly bad things to come). With John Krasinski's major debut film A Quiet Place, this aspect as been honed to near perfection.

Yes, readers, A Quiet Place is awesome simply by exceeding your expectations of a horror movie. The limited script and sound design cast a shadow of dread over ever frame, the peaceful setting and ambient noises make every sudden loud noise shock and terrify for what it may bring, Millicent Simmonds is both brilliant and endearing without uttering a word and, mostly due to the film's almost religious dedication to the power of silence, even its quiet moments do little outside of making you wonder what will happen next. It does horror without seeming to try and it does so to a near perfect balance. How did a modern, big budget horror move pull something like this off?

Unfortunately, much like Hush before it and due to the previously mentions terror-filled silence, most of the actual scares here equate to either jump scares (compounded by the audience's anticipations) and the traditional you're-looking-in-the-wrong-direction-BOO misdirection common among movies of the Insidious or Conjuring brand of horror. While this isn't bad at first, it begins to become rather predictable as the movie nears its conclusion and, as a result, tends to deaden viewers to what was certainly a twist Krasinski was hoping for when he direct the climax. This, mixed with the common post-apocalyptic trope of not really explaining what the monsters are or exactly how they destroyed the world in a few short years, tends to cause unanswered questions that linger long after the closing credits. If your big takeaway from a post-apocalyptic horror movie is “How did it come to this?”, you probably lazed around the script writing process.

As for watching it, can you sit quietly in a theater for ninety minutes? If so, go for this and enjoy not only a pretty awesome movie but the fact that your sitting in a theater with many people unable to do that, making the movie scarier based just on the jumpier audience member's reactions (which are sometimes more fun than the movie's more boring filler parts). Do you tend to fidget when a movie's becomes uncomfortable? Good luck being the center of attention when those around you scream because you accidentally shook a cup of ice in a dead silent theater (which is also pretty hilarious). It's a horror movie win-win! How often does that happen?

John Krasinski (he's that guy everybody likes from The Office) makes a stellar major studio debut with A Quiet Place, a dread-filled, white knuckle ride with a frustrating, yet simple to follow, premise. After the humanity has been wiped out by indestructible, alien-like creatures who hunt by sound (the movie never explains exactly what they are), the Abbott family tries to survive by living in complete silence on a isolated farm in the woods. Minimal sign language will be learned, you'll constantly be staring at the corners of the screen for potential jump scares, Emily Blunt will sell her weary and protective mother role for every ounce of emotion she can squeeze out of her face and you will probably spend the majority of the movie telling yourself how tough you must be for not jumping at that last jump scare when HERE'S THE REAL THREAT! BOO!

My score: 8/10. I know I'm supposed to be sad and mournful when [spoiler removed] dies for making too much noise, but I just couldn't bring myself to cry for someone who died so stupidly. Much like the case of teenagers and Tide Pods: Don't weep for the stupid or you'll be crying all week.

Ready Player One: A Nerd's Fever Dream

There's something to be said about entertainment and its evolution since the late 70s. This, despite what you might be told by the bygone era, has been a time of strange upheaval in Hollywood. Gone are the days of thinking science fiction is for the geeks of our species or that high-minded concepts should be consigned strictly to the drama genre. And, while its more recent missteps have become more glaring due to the art of cribbing previous, better directors' styles, it still remains a not only lucrative but pro-intelligence branch of cinema. How do authors respond to this phenomenon? Write a book with as much pop culture that you can cram into a few hundred pages, add a few future world fears to the mix, and just roll with your own personal geek love. Shockingly, this works for Ready Player One in ways I didn't think possible.

Before I begin talking about how awesome this movie actually is, please know that, if you are a fan of Ernest Cline's novel, chances are the plot progression won't be something you are fond of. Gone are the random arcade cabinet encounters, the more adult-oriented themes, the more-than-a-little obscure movie and videogame references and, of course, the actual set up to the big multi-billion dollar contest that takes up the bulk of the novel. Most of these things have been streamlined down to near oblivion not only for the purpose of editing (the movie is still 2 and a half hours long) and for accessibility (no more corporate murder), but also for the sake of character arcs that the book sorely missed (the main bad guy actually has a personality this time).

Fortunately, if you can ignore some of your fanboy-induced hysteria from the book and just embrace the insanity that is the movie, you will find what can best be described as a nerd's beautiful fever dream. This is a movie designed not for the masses but for the poor kid living in front of his Atari 2600 in his 1980s attic and having weird, dancing E.T.s floating around in his dreams. The characters mostly match up and manage to remain endearing, the challenges of the contest, though dumbed down, are still entertaining and the final battle is just as brilliant and weird as you would expect for something involving the Iron Giant taking on Mecha-Godzilla to a Twisted Sister song (yes, that actually happens here). Is young Spielberg somehow back?

As for watching it, yes, do that. Despite being a fan of the book, even I am hard-pressed to find flaws in the edited down film version. Sure, you miss out on unnecessary sequences where the main characters play arcade cabinets for sparkly keys and weird riddles, but, in its place, you get to see what would happen if you took a virtual vacation into Stephen King's The Shining with no previous knowledge of the plot (it might be the funniest scene of the year so far). Feeling like your not ready for the kind of commitment to 80s culture this film shovels? Good luck watching Black Panther for the tenth time.

Stephen Spielberg (every good 80s movie ever) basically reclaims his position as a nerd director with Ready Player One, a colorful, bonkers, funny look at what would happen if the people of the future became obsessed with the 1980s all over again. As the world dies from overpopulation and inflation of currencies, its people escape into the online world of Oasis, an MMO-style online universe whose economy is the strongest in the world. When its progressive-minded existence (everyone is welcome) is threatened by an evil telecommunications company, Wade Watts (Tye Sheridan) and his friends seek out a mysterious Easter Egg hidden within the world in order to gain control of Oasis for its players. Yeah, its really weird, but its a good weird.

My score: 8/10.

A Wrinkle in Time: Progressive Blackmail

There's a term used to describe the act of exploiting people and their emotional state for monetary gain known as Emotional Blackmail. In movies, this term refers to the act of using guilt on an audience to cover up a movie's myriad flaws by focusing instead on some offhand social climate issue like sexism (Ghostbusters), racisim (Black Panther) or news-related trauma (Incredibly Loud and Extremely Close) to cover up the fact that the movie not only has very little to say but also isn't very good and, if you happen to point that out, you will likely be labeled as sexist, racist or one of the many other “ists” because you have the nerve to call a bad movie bad. The good news: it seems Ava DuVernay's well-intentioned Wrinkle In Time may be the first movie completely immune to this treatment. We're finally becoming intelligent human beings again!

In case you haven't caught my meaning, A Wrinkle In Time is nothing short of a disaster in filmmaking. The plot is thin even for a ninety minute movie, the acting is stiff and boring, the direction is exactly what you would expect of DuVernay (limited direction with some hints of decent filmmaking ability) and the whole thing resides under an umbrella that reeks of progressive proselytizing. It's not so much that you SHOULD be liking the movie so much as you should feel bad for disliking it. Thanks, Hollywood, my lack of guilt was starting to give me confidence in life.

As for good...you could probably have a nice nap in the big, quiet theater? In all honesty, I fought sleep less than forty minutes into this movie and, outside of a gonzo cameo by Zach Galifianakus, nothing really came off as memorable so much as heavy-handed. Outside of leaving the theater wanting to punch ANYONE in the face for calling someone by two first names (talking to you, Charles Wallace!), this might be a movie best left to the annals of film history as a well-intentioned effort that falls flat because the talent involved was more interested in things like symbolism and meaning rather than entertaining the people whose money they hope to take for it. So, yeah, bring a nice pillow.

As for watching it, Thoroughbreds is out and, while its a very acquired taste, its far and away better than this fluffy tripe. Afraid your fellow Oprah fans will never let you live it down if you don't waste your time and money suffering through this garbage? Time to find new friends! Have fun with that choice!

Ava DuVernay (Selma) proves once again she just doesn't have the talent to make a fun movie without the innate obsession of making it “important” with A Wrinkle In Time, a heavy-handed, heavily-processed guilt trip about how we should respect everyone regardless of color or creed that should have been about a bunch of kids fighting shadow aliens with the power of happy thoughts (okay, the book is kind of weird too). Several years after the disappearance of their father, siblings Meg (Storm Reid) and Charles Wallace (Deric McCabe) recruit boy-next-door Calvin (Levi Miller) to go on what can best be described as an LSD-fueled trip through a kaleidoscope with the help of three oddly-named women/goddesses (Oprah, Reese Witherspoon, Mindy Kaling) to save their father (Chris Pine) form the IT, a darkness-feeding evil entity that floats through space and spreads unhappy thoughts. Alcohol required.

My score: 2/10. Apparently, since Wrinkle has officially tanked and cost Disney upwards of $100 million, DC has decided to get in on this action by offering DuVernay the director duties for Old Gods. Is DuVernay the new Hollywood tax write-off or something?