There's a term used to describe the act of exploiting
people and their emotional state for monetary gain known as Emotional
Blackmail. In movies, this term refers to the act of using guilt on
an audience to cover up a movie's myriad flaws by focusing instead on
some offhand social climate issue like sexism (Ghostbusters), racisim
(Black Panther) or news-related trauma (Incredibly Loud and Extremely
Close) to cover up the fact that the movie not only has very little
to say but also isn't very good and, if you happen to point that out,
you will likely be labeled as sexist, racist or one of the many other
“ists” because you have the nerve to call a bad movie bad. The
good news: it seems Ava DuVernay's well-intentioned Wrinkle In Time
may be the first movie completely immune to this treatment. We're
finally becoming intelligent human beings again!
In case you haven't caught my meaning, A Wrinkle In
Time is nothing short of a disaster in filmmaking. The plot is thin
even for a ninety minute movie, the acting is stiff and boring, the
direction is exactly what you would expect of DuVernay (limited
direction with some hints of decent filmmaking ability) and the whole
thing resides under an umbrella that reeks of progressive
proselytizing. It's not so much that you SHOULD be liking the movie
so much as you should feel bad for disliking it. Thanks, Hollywood,
my lack of guilt was starting to give me confidence in life.
As for good...you could probably have a nice nap in the
big, quiet theater? In all honesty, I fought sleep less than forty
minutes into this movie and, outside of a gonzo cameo by Zach
Galifianakus, nothing really came off as memorable so much as
heavy-handed. Outside of leaving the theater wanting to punch ANYONE
in the face for calling someone by two first names (talking to you,
Charles Wallace!), this might be a movie best left to the annals of
film history as a well-intentioned effort that falls flat because the
talent involved was more interested in things like symbolism and
meaning rather than entertaining the people whose money they hope to
take for it. So, yeah, bring a nice pillow.
As for watching it, Thoroughbreds is out and, while its
a very acquired taste, its far and away better than this fluffy tripe.
Afraid your fellow Oprah fans will never let you live it down if you
don't waste your time and money suffering through this garbage? Time
to find new friends! Have fun with that choice!
Ava DuVernay (Selma) proves once again she just doesn't
have the talent to make a fun movie without the innate obsession of
making it “important” with A Wrinkle In Time, a heavy-handed,
heavily-processed guilt trip about how we should respect everyone
regardless of color or creed that should have been about a bunch of
kids fighting shadow aliens with the power of happy thoughts (okay,
the book is kind of weird too). Several years after the disappearance
of their father, siblings Meg (Storm Reid) and Charles Wallace (Deric
McCabe) recruit boy-next-door Calvin (Levi Miller) to go on what can
best be described as an LSD-fueled trip through a kaleidoscope with
the help of three oddly-named women/goddesses (Oprah, Reese
Witherspoon, Mindy Kaling) to save their father (Chris Pine) form the
IT, a darkness-feeding evil entity that floats through space and
spreads unhappy thoughts. Alcohol required.
My score: 2/10. Apparently, since Wrinkle has
officially tanked and cost Disney upwards of $100 million, DC has
decided to get in on this action by offering DuVernay the director
duties for Old Gods. Is DuVernay the new Hollywood tax write-off or
something?
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